A man tries new philosophies. He tries, and realizes his insufficiency to live up to anything he would be. He is rational and sees the orderliness, and sees his failings to be orderly. He reaches for something higher, and can’t really define anything — again he sees his insufficiency. But is this all there is? Is he merely an inadequate being in a realm of order? The answer of course flows forth from the order. God has compassion and reveals his Word unto disappointed and depraved men. Here the Spirit seizes their hearts with truth, and the sorrow that was ushers in eternal joy! Sinful man is captured by the Spirit of God! Thanks be to the Spirit!!
The old nature seeks to govern —
God is my government
I am inadequate
Christ is my justification
He is my only fulfillment
In serving Him, my only
Motive can be Christ
My old nature seeks
the secure life
Of ministry —
But my only motive
Is Christ.
There is but one way to bridge this gap: I must obey in order to believe, and believe in order to obey — it is all one.
It is all one.
I am still led astray by the temptation of peace for peace alone. Let my only temptation be Christ for Christ alone — Let me find my fulfillment there alone.
It is terribly, damnably obvious that I am following my own mind still, instead of submitting full time to the Spirit.
Grant me strength to kill the old nature, God. For Christ’s sake, God. Only then am I wholly Yours. I would be wholly Yours. Help me!! I can’t do it! Amen in Christ.
God is using my own desire for the Church-type religious life to bring me to the feet of Christ. Here my desire for a certain type of Church life must renounce itself. Here I must totally die, to be born again of Christ!! I must look upon the face of suffering and sacrifice as a totally-renounced lump of clay, and only then am I wholly God’s through His Spirit!!!!!!!!!!
Bonhoeffer: The Cost of Discipleship (p. 303):
“They receive with gratitude the requirements of their bodily life, and in all things prove themselves honest, just, chaste, gentle, peaceable, and ready to serve.”