August 18, 2016/October 16, 2016

Not every ten year old wore a collared shirt
with jeans but some did and so
it wasn’t strange buttoned to the top
with a belt pulled up high over
underpants white the kind with
a vent for you know
going to the bathroom
and socks pulled up to mid calf
in running shoes they called sneakers
in America but he never sneaked
except the occasional peek
in the locker room where he hid so well
he couldn’t see himself down there
except that his thighs looked too wide
when he sat on the edge of the pool
embarrassed watching the girls
in their Speedo breasts
years later he was sometimes
naked on special occasions like with a girl
starting to see that his body
was not so disgusting after all
beginning to wish that he’d seen
it sooner and all the others too
naked girls and boys together
imagining how it might have been
to be one of them but
you can’t return to your village
to see what you never saw
or be how you never were
and the more you think of it
the more you can’t be here

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